Insecurities

I don't know why I decided to write this kind of topic, because it's a pretty sensitive one...

but yeah, here I am anyway lol

These past few days, I've been thinking a lot about my future, I never been this kind of person before. I always let things happen the way it is and keep doing what I have to do as if in obligations... but days before my 6th semester starts (3 days ago) I was talking to my bestfriend what I'm planning to do for my future.

And his response was so different than the others, he underestimate me and says that my dream was too much, he's assuming that I'm not capable to reach that kind of goals. I was so upset and mad, mostly at myself. Why people giving me this look and image...?

I'm not from a rich family and I have to do anything by myself, I know that my chances aren't that high compare to all the rich kids that can easily go to places they wanted to. But that's not my problem, I recently making new friends, they're from various countries and they really support me. I'm glad that I still have someone that I can talk to even if it's only a few minutes on the phone, but that's all I need.

Throughout the year, 2016... so far I get to express myself a little bit more from this blog. I have someone I can look up to*, and motivate me to work harder. To be honest, I'm a very cheesy person. I can get all emotional and hype because of someone that doesn't even know me. Well, I will write it soon maybe a few hours from this post is published haha...

I have a lot of insecurities, some friends makes it worse but some can cover it or even help me remove it... I just wanted to release this weight that I've been lifting these few days and I hope I can work harder from now on...

Yeah, I'll work harder.




*I'll write something about this person/group that really catches my attention and motivates me this much.