24/Seven

Shit. I don't know where to start...

I have this group of friends where we fangirl together and talk about anything and everything from family, guys, beliefs and even sex issues. So no lies, just us sharing things without judging each other.

How do we know each other?
Again, BTS related. I join this fandom app, it's like a social media for armys. Not many of my friends know BTS back then so I tried to find friends to talk to about them by making kakao group. So many people joined and the group is very noisy everyday we have like 999+ chat then as time goes by, there are only few of us are active in the group and kakao group kinda suck 'cause it's very heavy and some of us can't chat and send pictures normally so we decided to make Line group instead and there are only 8 of us and that's when we get to know more about each other.

What is 24/Seven?
We actually make this name together, the 24/Seven name itself literally means 24/7 because we all have different timezone so we chat everyday at any time. Also, BTS often use 24/7 in their lyric, since we all armys, we agree to name our group 24/Seven.

Now the sweet part, I'm going to describe all the group members and what every single one of them meant to me.

1. Monika
She's basically the "leader" 'cause she's the oldest and she's my "roommate", haha. Also her bias is Rap Monster, so we all agree to respect her as the leader. I call her Monie unnie, for me Monie is a very reliable person. I could talk to her about anything without being scared to be judged. I talk to her about my problems and she could give me the exact words that I need to hear at that time. She knows how to calm us down and she's also not easy to fool since we do prank a lot. Monie lives in the US and I think she's a smart person 'cause she basically knows about everything.

2. Sibel
Shib is what I called her and she's the dorkiest person I've ever known. She sends weird selfie of herself and also do weird videos, lmao. But she's also one of the closest one to me, She's in UK right now (when I start writting this but now she's back to her home country) but she lives in Switzerland. I talk about so many things to Shib and she knows how to take care of people too. In the group I fight with her a lot but of course not seriously but it's just like fighting with a big sister. She's funny and annoying.

3. NJ
NJ lives the closest to me, she live in Philippines. So we're the only asian in the group (lol who cares). She's so chubby and cute, well the best word to describe her is cute. She's one year younger than me, we also talk about anything. She's so caring and a very kind person. She shares a lot about herself in group, also asking our opinion about everything. She's a very "loyal" fan of Jimin, haha I think Jimin himself also resembles what NJ is like they both cute and fluffy. It 's very nice to have her in the group.

4. Nicole
I called her Nico and she lives in Brazil. She's rude and a perv. Haha just kidding. I don't really know how to describe her specifically but what I know best is that she's very pretty, she also very smart, she learns chinese, japanese, and many other language that I don't remember. She's pretty active in her real life but she always give her time to talk in the group, she also love killing us with spamming BTS pictures pft... She's just one year younger than me and she's also love cats.

5. Sarah
Shar is an evil witch, she's so evil that she have this dark aura that attracts weird guys stranger... HAHA well I am not wrong but that's obvs a joke. We call her evil because she likes to tell evil jokes and most of all she's actually very pretty. She lives in egypt and she's very good at drawing. We talk about everything in personal message a lot too just about everything that is not really important. She's also younger than me, and very funny sometimes because she's freakin' dumb lololol sorry Shar but you fell for our pranks most of the time. She really can light up the chat.

6. Maria
Mari is the second youngest in the group (14yo) and actually the very first person that join the group and survived until now haha. She's very active and love to rap and sing when we're in a voice call, she lives in Denmark and have a very beautiful eyes in my opinion. She always break the convo with song lyrics and love to do prank. She's just a very precious kid lmao. I'm so glad we have her, kid to take care of also we help her a little bit on her homework too (so cute). It's like having a cute little sister.

7. Shamsa
Last one is our youngest member, Shamsa. She lives in UAE and a very busy kid. She's not around that much which is of course a good thing since most of the group members are anti-social people lmfao. I really love her voice, she can sing very well and also very funny. This kid is a bit perv... I admit haha, we have this 18+ group for the elders of course she's not in it since she's only 14 (?) but she just casually talk about perv things in the main group chat. Oh well...

Not much really to say about them and this is actually too much for a group of friends that never met in real life haha. I am sooooo glad I have them in my life right now. They also thanked me a lot too for making the group. Maria keep tracking the time to remind us about our friendship anniversary (which I find sooooo cute and sweet) and we almost on our 1st year now, I hope we could be friends until forever and of course they motivate me to do my best so that someday we all could meet and be an actual bestfriends in real life.

Feels...

Okay, this one is gonna be very personal and deep.

I've been having issues and anxiety this past few weeks. I can't sleep and I'm eating like a pig but the next day I don't eat at all, so on so forth. I don't know what I've been thinking about, but everytime my friends ask me how I'm doing, well I'm doing just fine. But then I know there's something wrong with me, it's just so hard to explain.

Few days ago I deactivate my old facebook account with the reason that I'm too lazy to remove my "unknown" friends. But that wasn't the case, lol. Since I played this Touch game, I make so many new friends but surprisingly only few of them are real. I don't expect anything from a friend but reading all the drama and scandal people have on social media makes me realise how pathetic they are and I ask to myself "don't they have any real friends to talk to rather than share it to the world?". I did share my personal scandal once on facebook and that only because the person deserves it. And just now I just realised I wasted my few seconds to write that shit HAHA.

Ok, moving on.

Regarding to my condition, my current state is very complicated. It's like having a mental illness but yet I'm normal. What is normal anyway? pft. So my issue is that I push people away, so many guys reaching out to me but I didn't look at them like at all. My close friend said to me the other day that I've been known to be very arrogant and dearly plush. Well the second word maybe a compliment but arrogant? Only people who knows me know that I'm not that kind of person. But it gets me how I want to be alone and I am for exactly a year already. It's not that I don't want a boyfriend, but I want someone who has his own thing already and not giving shit about what I do everyday yet understands my deepest darkest personality. I don't want to be the clingy girlfriend, I don't want to wait around my boyfriend to text me and mad if he doesn't. I don't want my boyfriend to always look for me 'cause I'm busy or I'm just a loner. I need a busy guy who give his precious time to visit me in the middle of the night for only 1 to 2 hours just to say he loves me and just to see me eating or do some shit.

I know that's too much to ask but I can't find a guy when I'm only a girl. That's why I've been working so hard these days to take care of myself and try to be more independent in a case where I don't financially need my mom anymore and I really want to live somewhere, anywhere but here.

For friends, I don't need many. They come and go as they like, luckily I'm not a sensitive person so I don't care. BUT, I do care about my 24/Seven squad which I'm going to write in my next post because they're just special.

Buona notte a tutti~

Buona notte~

Hi hi... long time no see~ *sings iKON* teehee

so it's night time and I feel sick which is a good thing for me 'cause then I have time to write again since I'm so busy catching up with friends and making my brand this summer holiday. sigh.

Nothing special going on as usual.

So this holiday, I started to make some new steps. I was soooo lazy to do anything since it's holiday and it's my only chance to actually sleep for a month and nobody cares. But I have the motivation to make a brand so I did it. Me and my crew meet-up once a week if possible and we already have a few artworks up on our instagram, finallyyyy.... I hope the brand turns out great and I can continue using it to express myself.

Second thing is... I don't really know but I'm going to talk about my phone. I've been living in a cave for weeks now since I broke my phone. It was very stressful at first 'cause I have class and I have meeting every week also I need some catching up to do... But surprisingly I can survive without my phone haha. I could literally do whatever I want without having the burden to check my phone and of course my mom can't call me when I'm hanging out with my friends which she only did when I came home very late without telling her, lmao.

Then the last (not really) thing is about my fangirling life. So this blog is literally about me and BTS most of the time is about BTS but yeah I'm still crazy about them. BUT! I just changed my bias. I know it's a weird thing to do for some of the fanatic fangirl out there to change bias, it's like cheating on your boyfriend blablabla... But yeah, I'm over Park Jimin and now I'm all over Min Yoongi. Not because his mixtape is out a few days ago, and I'm not gonna explain shit 'cause I'm not good at it.

And also about the BTS merch that I'm planning to do after I finished my stickers. Well Jimin is fucking blonde right now I really want to make a merch with their newest look so I'm waiting for their new photos now that their concert is finished. I'm looking forward to their shows.

BYE~

Leave BTS alone!

Whoever hates BTS, I want you guys to leave them alone. And just so you know, Bangtan were born to be who they are now. I don't have many things to da because I have this few pictures that could make all the haters shut the fuck up.

I still don't know who wrote this, but whoever it is, I want to thank him/her for writting such thing and I want him/her to know that I love it *lol*

Bangtan just finished their first ever epilogue concert, I really hope I could fly to Bangkok so I can attend their concert since Indonesia didn't get to the list and I don't care anyway. I actually want them to canceled few of their concert because their schedule is too much :(

And tomorrow will be the 2nd day of the concert in Seoul and tonight "Save Me" MV will be out. So many things happening in Bangtan Land right now and thanks to my 24/7 friends (a line group of armys that I really love) I can keep up with everything.

Bangtan fighting!

FREE!! for a mean time.......

I finally finished my mid exam... so many sleepless night and I really can't do anything, I didn't even post for a month I guess, I didn't even play dota *lol* for a month too.

It's like I tried so hard to relax on my free time and don't want to pressure myself posting this and that also finishing my stickers.

I slept all day today, so I'm pretty much back to my normal condition for doing anything and as I was planning the other day I'm going to finish my stickers and hopefully before final exam I could post everything here.

ANYWAY....

A LOOOOTTTT going on while I was busy, BTS is coming back with their album. And I almost cried watching their epilogue. I was in the middle of an exam and I forced myself to do some fanart, although it sucks but I'll post it here since no one gonna see it here either haha

I draw this with my pen tablet on my laptop, this scene is from their epilogue and it's my ultimate bias, Park Jimin xD

I don't know about the theories, but I really really love their concept cause it's not about man and woman relationship which is so mainstream and basic. It's about a very deep friendship and about their life as a star. The songs are incredible, the lyrics and melody. I'm looking forward to the next album! yeayyy~

BTS [1st PROJECT] coming soon~!

As soon as I finished my stickers, I wanna make a project for every member and hope for the best haha

The project will be a slogan (60cm x 20 cm), stickers, edited photocards (by me of course), and tote bag (if possible). It's not decided yet but this is what I have in mind and I just wanna share this so that I won't forget everything lmao

I'm going to do a test print first of course and share it to see if people liked it, and going to star open order for limited stock since I don't really have time for other stuff than my college things *sad*

But I'll try my best. Fightinggg~~!

Beezy...

So much things that are ongoing... can't keep up with my own life *haha
Going to focus on my portfolio tho, then find an internship place that I'm confident with and start saving money for my exchange program.

Of course, I'll be spending my whole life in front of a computer... dammit lmao

I'll try my best to catch up with everything, I'm also going to perfect my vector skills so that I can make my own fanart gallery 'cause honestly, digital painting is soooooo hard for me, I'm too impatient to make such things and ruined everything in the end haha

Fighting!

Hmm... maybe [TO BTS]?

Another BTS related topic hehe~

Since this blog is only about me, myself and I. Sharing my thoughts and message about my idol is pretty important for me because I look up to them, I'm not the type of fan that love my idols just because they look good in front of the cameras. I can proudly say that I am an ARMY because I love BTS's music, I love the lyrics they put into each of their songs, I love the melodies, I love the choreography, I love how each member put effort in every album, they work hard in every video making and of course having a handsome/cute appearance also great sense of humor is a huge bonus! so... anyone who happens to read this will know how much I love them and why exactly I'm crazy about them. And one last but not least, the most charming thing about them is that they always keep in touch with us ARMYs, they made promises with us and also give us amazing gifts (ARMYs will know what I mean by all this), also they give the best fanservice, I can say that ARMYs is the most spoiled fandom yeay~~

Ok, back to the topic again.

It's not that I don't want to be an official ARMY, I'm on my way learning korean language and I'm also planning to study in Seoul or maybe work there, my dream is to live there not because of the idols, one of the main reason is that I've always wanted to live in a 4 season country since I'm from Indonesia and we only have summer and rain season... *sad*

The thing is, all international fans can relate to this. Joining official fanclub is SOOOOO SO SO HARD. I tried 2 times and failed, also I didn't become official this year, so my chances are gone, I have to wait for next year recruitment... *sad sad sad*

People may ask, what is it with joining this fanclub. Well actually this fanclub/fancafe is the only way we could directly post something to BTS and they actually read it, they can also send post to us and we know when they got online, it's like a private place for BTS and ARMYs. Fancafe contents are also not allowed to be posted outside the fancafe itself.

So what I'm trying to do now is, since I've missed my chances. I really want to write letters to BTS every single day if possible, maybe I should just post it here in my blog. I know for sure that BTS won't read it, no one actually would read it (lol) but I just want to look back and read what I felt back then about them and I don't want to forget how it feels like to be an ARMY. That's why maybe, I decided to make [TO BTS] (not decided yet) post which is a letter for them, and dedicated only to them.

Ahh damn, I write too long. Byeee~~

FINALLYYYY!!! 2015 BTS HYYH Live on stage.

I've been waiting for weeks for this and it finally arrived yesterday! I was so excited and lost my voice a little bit on my unboxing video lmao.

It's also my first time ever uploading a video on my Youtube Channel, you can check the video on this link. (thanks for watching!) I'm not going to talk about my channel just yet, you guys can read my channel description or the video description to know about my channel.

I'm also in the process of making BTS Line Stickers, I still got a long way to go until the review, I hope it can go on sale so that ARMYs and all my ARMYs friends on Line can use it! *finger crossed*

So, about this DVD, as you can see I got Suga photocard and I don't plan to trade or sell it although my ultimate bias is Jimin, I love BTS so I want to have all the members photocard not just Jimin haha and I haven't watch it yet not because I'm not excited about it, but there are so many spoiler on Youtube, everyone already upload it although it's illegal haha, the thing is I promised my friends to watch with them, so they going to stay over at my place and we're going to fangirl all day and all night long YEAAYY~ not just BTS though, my friend bought EXO DVD and she downloaded SNSD's Phantasia's concert and SMTOWN *lmao* so it's going to be a long night, and I can't wait for it!

INFIRES (?) wait... I mean INSPIRE

Okay, first of all, only ARMYs can understands my heading lmao

So on my last post I was talking about getting motivated so much that I really really reaaalllyyy want to work hard so that I can reach this goal of mine which my friends think is "impossible".

It's not like I fell in love or something because people said that falling in love can give you this positive thoughts and motivates you to do some stuffs... whatever, whoever come up with that got no jams... *again with BTS's references lol*

I'm planning to live overseas one day, I'm tired being here (my hometown) not because I don't appreciate it but I know myself more than anyone else. I really need a new environment for me to developed and I honestly tired living with my mom... although she's my hero, she's the love of my life but I'm tired of her complaining about everything that I do, I can't help it, I can't help her yet, I still have a little bit more time, I wanna graduate with good grades, got a job and slowly moving out and make her proud from a distance. It's not that won't miss her or the rest of my family... but I'm a really bad kid actually... haha

I don't miss my family that much, I don't miss my mom that much when she's away for few days or week, I don't call her just to say that I miss her, I don't ask her how she doing and anything. I'm really bad at being a child. So all I can do to repay her is work hard and make her proud.

Thank you, for motivating me this much. The person don't even know that I exist but I'm very thankful that I finally have the courage to say that I wanted to do something and I will achieve it. They inspires me a lot and I know that someday I must thank them, make them at least know that I exist is all that I wanted.

"Hope that everything will work out fine..."

Insecurities

I don't know why I decided to write this kind of topic, because it's a pretty sensitive one...

but yeah, here I am anyway lol

These past few days, I've been thinking a lot about my future, I never been this kind of person before. I always let things happen the way it is and keep doing what I have to do as if in obligations... but days before my 6th semester starts (3 days ago) I was talking to my bestfriend what I'm planning to do for my future.

And his response was so different than the others, he underestimate me and says that my dream was too much, he's assuming that I'm not capable to reach that kind of goals. I was so upset and mad, mostly at myself. Why people giving me this look and image...?

I'm not from a rich family and I have to do anything by myself, I know that my chances aren't that high compare to all the rich kids that can easily go to places they wanted to. But that's not my problem, I recently making new friends, they're from various countries and they really support me. I'm glad that I still have someone that I can talk to even if it's only a few minutes on the phone, but that's all I need.

Throughout the year, 2016... so far I get to express myself a little bit more from this blog. I have someone I can look up to*, and motivate me to work harder. To be honest, I'm a very cheesy person. I can get all emotional and hype because of someone that doesn't even know me. Well, I will write it soon maybe a few hours from this post is published haha...

I have a lot of insecurities, some friends makes it worse but some can cover it or even help me remove it... I just wanted to release this weight that I've been lifting these few days and I hope I can work harder from now on...

Yeah, I'll work harder.




*I'll write something about this person/group that really catches my attention and motivates me this much.

I'm an A.R.M.Y!

It's been a very long time I didn't have an idol as my life,

The last korean boyband I like was Big Bang and they're obviously a very old band lol...

I was busy with gaming and stuff I was just not interested in the rookie groups,

but since I play a casual music dancing shit game where the songs are Kpop

I know a lot of the trending Kpop songs then somehow I found this boyband from my tv channel, they are BTS. (I won't describe them so go look for yourself haha)

It's not something I would brag about, it's just that I really miss that feeling when you really appreciate this band, loves their music, appearance, voice, personality and performance. I like them since their promotion of "Boyz in Luv" and I still loves them until now.

Fangirling motivates me to do stuff, like making friends all over the world, saving money to see their concert or to buy their albums, making fanart and so on.

Maybe I don't look like a girl that fangirl that much, but if you get to know me, you'll know that I fangirl hard *what a retard*.

For the ARMYs out there that happens to read this,

Hi~ haha nice to meet you guys *smile*

I even make friends from this app called fandom, and the ARMYs are so sweet and fun to talk to since they are as retard as I am...

To BTS: 

I hope you guys take care of yourself, don't get sick, keep on working hard and thanks for giving us (ARMYs) such a very cool performance everytime you guys get on stage.

방탄소년단 사랑해.

BTS: 화양연화 pt.2

Official Website

What should I do?

It's like living in a loop,
Everyday is a repetition of yesterday, and it goes on and on...

Yeah I go to college, I  got tons of assignments...
I have friends that willing to visit me or hang out with me.
but that's just the littlest part of life...

6 hours doesn't counts, 2 days doesn't change things.

I have so many dreams that are already broken,
all hopes and lost in your own mind are just part of me that don't appreciate my current life.
I guess I really don't haha

Motivations and ideas keeps coming, but I'm not a sensitive person.
I keep on ignoring every chances.

Wanting to travel, sing, dance my heart out.I'm aging.

Slowly all the hopes and plans got washed away with the rain,
got blown away with the wind.

Is it true when people say "If you can dream, then you can do it."
then I don't do much do I?

I don't care anymore. I got anything, yet doesn't have everything.
I'm happy with who I am, yet not satisfied with myself.

I need to work harder, I don't want just this, or only that.
I want everything that I could have.

Then, what should I do?