Insecurities

I don't know why I decided to write this kind of topic, because it's a pretty sensitive one...

but yeah, here I am anyway lol

These past few days, I've been thinking a lot about my future, I never been this kind of person before. I always let things happen the way it is and keep doing what I have to do as if in obligations... but days before my 6th semester starts (3 days ago) I was talking to my bestfriend what I'm planning to do for my future.

And his response was so different than the others, he underestimate me and says that my dream was too much, he's assuming that I'm not capable to reach that kind of goals. I was so upset and mad, mostly at myself. Why people giving me this look and image...?

I'm not from a rich family and I have to do anything by myself, I know that my chances aren't that high compare to all the rich kids that can easily go to places they wanted to. But that's not my problem, I recently making new friends, they're from various countries and they really support me. I'm glad that I still have someone that I can talk to even if it's only a few minutes on the phone, but that's all I need.

Throughout the year, 2016... so far I get to express myself a little bit more from this blog. I have someone I can look up to*, and motivate me to work harder. To be honest, I'm a very cheesy person. I can get all emotional and hype because of someone that doesn't even know me. Well, I will write it soon maybe a few hours from this post is published haha...

I have a lot of insecurities, some friends makes it worse but some can cover it or even help me remove it... I just wanted to release this weight that I've been lifting these few days and I hope I can work harder from now on...

Yeah, I'll work harder.




*I'll write something about this person/group that really catches my attention and motivates me this much.

I'm an A.R.M.Y!

It's been a very long time I didn't have an idol as my life,

The last korean boyband I like was Big Bang and they're obviously a very old band lol...

I was busy with gaming and stuff I was just not interested in the rookie groups,

but since I play a casual music dancing shit game where the songs are Kpop

I know a lot of the trending Kpop songs then somehow I found this boyband from my tv channel, they are BTS. (I won't describe them so go look for yourself haha)

It's not something I would brag about, it's just that I really miss that feeling when you really appreciate this band, loves their music, appearance, voice, personality and performance. I like them since their promotion of "Boyz in Luv" and I still loves them until now.

Fangirling motivates me to do stuff, like making friends all over the world, saving money to see their concert or to buy their albums, making fanart and so on.

Maybe I don't look like a girl that fangirl that much, but if you get to know me, you'll know that I fangirl hard *what a retard*.

For the ARMYs out there that happens to read this,

Hi~ haha nice to meet you guys *smile*

I even make friends from this app called fandom, and the ARMYs are so sweet and fun to talk to since they are as retard as I am...

To BTS: 

I hope you guys take care of yourself, don't get sick, keep on working hard and thanks for giving us (ARMYs) such a very cool performance everytime you guys get on stage.

방탄소년단 사랑해.

BTS: 화양연화 pt.2

Official Website

What should I do?

It's like living in a loop,
Everyday is a repetition of yesterday, and it goes on and on...

Yeah I go to college, I  got tons of assignments...
I have friends that willing to visit me or hang out with me.
but that's just the littlest part of life...

6 hours doesn't counts, 2 days doesn't change things.

I have so many dreams that are already broken,
all hopes and lost in your own mind are just part of me that don't appreciate my current life.
I guess I really don't haha

Motivations and ideas keeps coming, but I'm not a sensitive person.
I keep on ignoring every chances.

Wanting to travel, sing, dance my heart out.I'm aging.

Slowly all the hopes and plans got washed away with the rain,
got blown away with the wind.

Is it true when people say "If you can dream, then you can do it."
then I don't do much do I?

I don't care anymore. I got anything, yet doesn't have everything.
I'm happy with who I am, yet not satisfied with myself.

I need to work harder, I don't want just this, or only that.
I want everything that I could have.

Then, what should I do?